Thursday, February 18, 2010

One Year Later

Hey. It's Reed.

It seems impossible, but today is the first anniversary of Carmen's death. We have been through a lot this past year. We have spent quite a bit of time thinking about all the things we have lost. We have at times been overwhelmed with grief. Some days it has been hard to find the motivation to get things done or to engage with others. We have been mourning, and we don't see an end to mourning any time soon.

But it is time for a change now. It's time to shift the emphasis from the negative to the positive. From what we don't have, to what we do have. Life is too good to spend all of it looking backward. We will choose to look forward. Here is some of what we have to look forward to:

(1) Our family is forever. Dorothy is a wonderful woman. This year we will celebrate 15 years of marriage. We have 5 beautiful children. We will see Carmen again, and when we do, the time we will have had to wait will seem so short in retrospect. In the meantime, we have 4 great boys to raise. This year Scott will start high school, James will turn 12 and receive the priesthood, Vincent will turn 8 and be baptized, and Timothy (6!) is what we call "a big boy."

(2) So many of our relationships with friends and family are much richer than they would otherwise have been. We have shared hugs and tears with so many, which is a significant upgrade from handshakes and smiles. We have been welded together through tender experiences that we will never forget. There is no other way that any of this could have come about, than the way in which it did.

(3) We have a greater sense of what really matters: loving and serving other people. And we feel the responsibility to live up to that greater sense. We just became officially licensed as foster parents (not just "pet parents") for the county. We still waste plenty of time with stupid stuff but we are trying to improve and life will be better for it.

(4) Springtime basically means two things: renewal and baseball.

(5) Life is an adventure. It is possible to not stress over every little thing that happens, but to walk through everything that gets thrown at us and to enjoy each moment.

God knows what He is doing. He loves us. He would not have asked Carmen to suffer for even one moment, if it were not for her good. I know this may sound strange, but it is true. Every bit of pain and suffering (which He is intimately familiar with) will add to Carmen's everlasting joy. Not one iota of it will be wasted. God will wipe all tears from our eyes.

So yes, we will continue to mourn, but we will not despair. Happy new year.

Love, The Galbraiths